Karen from HR vs Payroll: Mindfulness at Month-End

Karen invited the payroll team to a “Month-End Mindfulness Circle.”
No agenda.
Just “intentional breathing and shared presence.”

She brought essential oils.
We brought resentment.

The session started with Karen saying,
“Let’s release what no longer serves us.”
We thought about the payroll system.
And Bob.

She asked us to close our eyes.
We did.
Then a tax file failed to transmit.
Half the team opened their eyes again.
The other half just never came back.

Karen offered us affirmation cards.
Mine said, “I am calm in the face of chaos.”
I used it to blot coffee I spilled during a last-minute GL correction.

She rang a tiny bell to end the session.
No one clapped.
Someone coughed.
The silence was long, and awkward.
We all felt… the same.

Winner: Karen, technically.
She reached inner peace.
We reached for the payroll error log.