Karen from HR vs Payroll: Unsolicited Wellness

The war on serenity begins.

Monday: Karen from HR created a calendar invite.
Title: "Payroll & Purpose: Finding Meaning in the Monthly Cut-Off."
It includes a mindfulness exercise.
And a breakout session.

I declined.
Twice.
She sent a follow-up.

Tuesday: Karen suggested we start a “Feelings Friday” check-in.
It’s mandatory.
It replaces lunch.

She says it's a safe space.
I say nothing, because I haven’t felt safe since Q1.

Wednesday: Karen asked if we’d consider a ‘Gratitude Tracker’ in the payroll team.
She says it helps people focus on the positive.
I said I’d consider it.

I did not consider it.

Thursday: Karen stopped by with herbal tea.
She said it promotes clarity.
I was mid-audit.
The tea spilled on my desk.
Nothing is clear.

Friday: Karen wants to start a “Payroll Appreciation Week.”
It includes a quiz, a themed playlist, and matching T-shirts.

She asked for budget.
I asked for peace.

Neither of us got what we wanted.